-=Didd=- DJ MoSlo You mentioned using Garageband in the comments. Personally I'd think about transitioning to another DAW but that's not really the main issue at all. If you're interested I'm sure people in the Audio Forum will help you out.
I think you'd benefit from looking up some mixing tutorials. You actually have a pretty good selection of instruments here, it doesn't feel too crowded (though maybe two bass synths is pushing it a little) but they'd sound much better if they were EQ'd and panned properly. I don't know how much power you have to edit this stuff though, because you might be using the loop library that comes with GB.
Also consider a bit more variation throughout the piece. You don't have to come up with a new chord progression or whatever, but maybe subtract instruments from the mix for a phrase before bringing them back in (Taking the bass out for a bit for example).
You do, however, have a good grasp of rhythm, I like how the beginning samples end up fitting into the whole piece. There don't appear to be any issues with dodgy looping or noticeably out of time instruments. I like that sample that comes in every two bars, the weird-sounding thing that I can't seem to describe, but it would be more effective if it wasn't used for the whole piece. It's still good though.
For someone on Garageband this isn't too bad, and you've clearly got some interesting ideas you could put in your future music. Keep going, don't let a seemingly low rating discourage you!
